Basil

“What’s that”, screeched my mam as we were sitting at the kitchen table having a cup of coffee yesterday morning.
“What’s what”, I replied.
“That there”.
“Where”.
“By the bush”.
“Which bush” – there’s about two dozen in the garden.
“By the ??? (some Latin name)”.
“In English please”.
“See where blackbird is. Behind him”.
“Oh you mean a rat”.

Mam then freaks out ! ! !

When she eventually calmed down (not a good time for her to be giving up smoking…), she phoned the pest control at the local council. They are sending someone out on Monday to deal with Basil – that’s what I’ve called it after ‘Basil the Siberian hamster’ in Fawlty Towers.

She rings Gloria, her next door neighbour, to tell them about Basil as it kept running into one of their bushes. Between them they decide Basil belongs to the neighbour two doors away as they keep rabbits.

Gloria then rings mam back to say she’s phoned the council and they too are coming out on Monday. They then set up a campaign to tell everyone in the street about Basil and for them to each ring the council.

Basil – your days are numbered ! ! !

Marie