We’ve bought a new bed. To look at it’s just an ordinary bed. Five feet wide with drawers underneath, but it hides a secret. It’s decided that all who sleep in it must be chaste at all times.
When we have a cuddle and a couple of good night kisses before settling down to sleep, the bed’s fine. However when we want to take things further so to speak, the bed BOINGS.
It’s very off-putting, not to mention hysterically funny when you’re trying to be romantic and all you hear is kiss BOING kiss BOING kiss BOING.
We’ve even tried to pretend we’re saying goodnight but it’s no fool. It knows what we’re up to and BOING BOING.
I’ve heard of a chastity belt but never a chastity bed ! ! !