Recipe if the week – Cottage pie

If you’re not a vegetable lover, this is a great way of getting some of your ‘five a day’ as you don’t notice they are there.

Serves 2

• 6oz mince (lean if possible)
• 1 onion, finely chopped
• A small handful of mushrooms, finely chopped
• 2 small carrots (or 1 large carrot), finely chopped
• A handful of frozen peas and sweetcorn
• 1 pint of hot beef stock (from a cube is fine)
• 1 tablespoon of plain flour
• 1 teaspoon of dried mixed herbs
• 1 tablespoon of tomato paste
• Black pepper
• Worchester sauce (five or six good shakes)
• 2 baking potatoes (medium/large in size, peeled and cut into chunks)
• ¼ pint of milk

Oven: 180º c/Gas Mk 4. Fan oven 160ºc

Dry fry the mince in a frying pan over a medium heat until the mince is browned. If there’s oil from the mince left in the pan, carefully drain it away.

Add the carrots, onions and mushrooms to the pan and cook for a couple of minutes. Add the plain flour and mix well. Next add the tomato paste, black pepper (to taste), dried mix herbs and Worchester sauce to the stock and stir. Add the stock to the pan and mix well. Turn the heat up to high.

Add the peas and sweetcorn and mix well. Leave to simmer, stirring occasionally for 25 – 30 minutes until the mixture is thick.

While the mixture is simmering, pre-heat the oven, boil the potatoes for 20 minutes then mash with the milk.

Put the mince mixture into either two ovenproof dishes or one large one and top with the mashed potato. Make sure the edges are sealed to stop any liquid escaping. Fluff the potato with a fork so the ends get nice and crispy.

Cook in the oven for 25 minutes until the potato is golden brown.

Tip: let the mince mixture cool slightly in the dishes as it makes it easier to add the mashed potato.

The cottage pie mix can also be made in a slow cooker. Lean mince is best for this method as ordinary mince produces too much oil.

Add the mince, onion, carrots, mushrooms, peas and sweetcorn into the frying pan and cook on high for five minutes. Stirring occasionally.

Add the plain flour and mix well. Next add the tomato paste, black pepper (to taste), dried mix herbs and Worchester sauce to the stock and stir. As a slow cooker will not boil away the liquid, you will only need ¼ pint of stock. Add the stock to the pan and mix well.

Transfer to the slow cooker and cook on Low for 8 hours.

Don’t peel or chunk the potato’s, leave them whole. Prick each potato a couple of times and microwave them on full power (850w) for about 10 minutes. Leave to cool slightly.

Half the potatoes, then scrap out the insides leaving the skins behind into a bowl.

Heat the milk in the microwave on full power (850w) for 1 ½ minutes, then mash the potatoes using the milk.

Pre-heat the grill to it’s hottest setting. Fill the dish/dishes with boiling water, about half way is fine. Leave for about three minutes then carefully dry them.

Put the mince mixture into the dish/dishes and top with the mashed potato. Fluff the potato with a fork. Put under the grill for about 10 – 15 minutes until the top is golden brown.

All the weights are in ‘old money’. If you want them in Metric, you’ll have to convert it yourself….

Recipe of the week – Chilli wraps

You could also serve this with rice instead of wraps. Simply add a tin of drained cooked kidney beans to the mix.

Serves 2

• 6oz mince, preferably lean
• 1 green pepper, de-seeded and chopped
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 pint of hot beef stock (from a cube is fine)
• 1 tablespoon of plain flour
• 1 teaspoon of dried Oregano
• 1 tablespoon of tomato puree
• 1 teaspoon of mild chilli powder (or more if you like it hotter)
• 4 wraps

Dry fry the mince in a frying pan over a medium heat until the mince is browned. If there’s oil from the mince left in the pan, carefully drain it away.

Add the onions and the peppers and cook for about five minutes.

Next add the flour and mix until everything is coated in the flour. Add to the stock the Oregano, tomato puree and chilli powder and give it a quick stir.

Turn the heat up to high and pour the stock into the pan then mix well.

Turn the heat down until the mix is simmering and simmer for about 25 minutes or until the mixture is thick. Stir several times during cooking to stop the mix from sticking to the pan.

Heat the wraps in a microwave according to the instructions on the packet.

Spoon the mix into a warmed bowl and serve with shredded lettuce.

All the weights are in ‘old money’. If you want them in Metric, you’ll have to convert it yourself….

Recipe of the week - Rock bars

If you like rock cakes you’ll love these.

Makes 16

• 8oz self-raising flour
• 4oz margarine (softened)
• 2oz granulated sugar
• 4oz dried fruit (sultanas or raisins or a combination of both is fine)
• 1 egg
• 1 tablespoon of milk
• 1oz demerara sugar

Pre-heat oven to 200º c/Gas Mk 6. Fan oven 180ºc

Line a 11x7x1 inch/ 28x18x2.5cm tin with baking parchment.

Add the flour and margarine into a bowl and rub in (like you were making pastry) until the mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs.

Next add in the sugar and dried fruit. Stir in the egg and milk and mix until it forms a firm dough.

Put the mixture into the tin, pressing it into the corners and levelling it off with the back of a spoon.

Cut into 16 bars and sprinkle the top with the demerara sugar.

Bake for 25 minutes.

Allow to cool before removing the bars from the tin.

All the weights are in ‘old money’. If you want them in Metric, you’ll have to convert it yourself….

Number two

Poops – I did it again. Another blocked loo by yours truly.

Instead of it being over eight inches long like the last time, it was more like a bowling ball.....

And yes it did take some getting out !!!!!!

Marie

Douglas

In cosmology there is a number, called Hubble's Constant. It's named after Edwin Hubble, the man who first realised that the universe is expanding. The units don't matter but generally, the smaller the value, the older and bigger the universe is.

Hubble put the value at 500, but then with the equipment at his disposal he had no way of understanding just how big the universe is. Over the years the value has been worked downwards and until recently the accepted value was somewhere around 70.

The value relies on an understanding of a certain type of star, the Cepheid Variable and new data on these has led to a revaluing of the constant.

The proposed new value of Hubble's Constant is ... 42. Maybe Douglas Adams knew something we don't.

Had he lived, Douglas Adams would have been 60 today. And I think he would have been rather pleased.

Dog walkers needed

**If you are of a sensitive disposition please do not read this......*

When it comes to going to the loo to do a 'number two' (or a download as we call it....), I'm afraid I don't belong in the 'twice a day' club. I go when I'm ready, which can be once a week; once a fortnight or even once a month.

I went to the loo yesterday morning, and having not been for a while, I knew my download would be on the large side. That was an understatement !!!!!!!!

Normally when they're on the 'large side' a couple of flushes of the loo gets rid of it. Sadly that didn't work.

We had a similar problem of a blocked loo a couple of years ago (caused by me again...) so I wrapped some plastic bags over the loo brush and gave it a vigorous plunge down the pan.

It wasn't budging. I tried again – and again – and again. Nothing.

Reluctantly I put my rubber gloved hand down the pan to see if I could move the obstruction. It was like poking a piece of wood. There was no way that was going to be flushed down the loo. So it had to come out.....

I took a couple of deep breaths when plunged my gloved hand back into the pan. No wonder I'd been constipated. It was over eight inches of solid poo....

Now I know what a dog walker goes through.

Marie

Recipe of the week – Cornbeef pie

A delicious pie. You can eat it cold for picnics or parties, or hot served with chips and lots of tomato ketchup…

• 1 tin of cornbeef, roughly chopped

• 1 onion, chopped

• 12oz of shortcrust pastry

• 2 baking potatoes

• Milk

• Tomato ketchup

Lightly grease a 13 ½ inch x 8 inch x 1 inch baking tin. Don't worry if you don't have that size tin as any of similar size will do.

Pre-heat oven to 180º c/Gas Mk 4. Fan oven 160ºc

Make the pastry and allow it to rest in the fridge for at least ½ hour.

Peel and chop the potatoes into chunks then boil until tender.

Lightly mash the cooked potatoes with a little milk then add the cornbeef and onion. Mash the mix again, without adding any more milk, to combine the cornbeef and onion. Be careful not to over mash.

Add a couple of shakes of tomato ketchup to the mix and mash lightly again. Taste the mix to see if you require any more ketchup.

Take half of the pastry, and on a floured surface, roll it out thinly until it’s slightly larger than the tin.

Line the bottom of the tin with the pastry. Trim with a knife the surplus pastry that's hanging over the edge of the tin.

Add the cornbeef filling to the tin.

Using the remaining half of the pastry and any scraps of left to roll out the top for the pie.

Moisten the edges of the pastry with some water and add the top of the pastry to the pie. Press down the edges to seal the pie. Trim off the surplus pastry.

Make a couple of holes on the pastry top with the tip of a knife to allow seam to escape.

Brush the top with milk and bake in the oven for 40 minutes until the top is golden brown.

All the weights are in ‘old money’. If you want them in Metric, you’ll have to convert it yourself….

Recipe of the week – Winter warming soup

Another soup perfect for a cold winters day.

Serves 6

• 2 onions, finely chopped

• 1 teaspoon of oil

• 2 large carrots, finely chopped

• 1 small swede or turnip, finely chopped

• 1 baking potato, finely chopped

• 1 leek, rinsed, trimmed and thinly sliced

• 1 pint of hot vegetable stock (from two stock cubes is fine)

• 4 handfuls of frozen peas

• ½ pint of milk

• ½ teaspoon of dried herbs (any will do)

• Black pepper

• 1 tablespoon of cornflour or plain flour

In a large pan fry the onions in the oil for about two minutes until they are soft.

Add all the remaining vegetables, except for the frozen peas, to the pan and cook for one minute.

Add the stock, herbs and black pepper then bring to the boil and simmer, gently partly covered with a lid, for 15 minutes.

Next add the frozen peas and cook for another three minutes.

Blend a little of the milk with the flour until it’s smooth then stir into the remaining milk.

Add the milk to the pan and bring the soup to the boil, stirring until it has thickened slightly. Simmer for another couple of minutes.

Serve in warm bowls.

Any soup that’s left can be frozen.

Recipe of the week – Tomato soup

This is great eaten with crusty bread. It freezes beautifully too.

Serves 6

• 2 onions, chopped

• 2 cloves of garlic, finely chopped or pressed through a garlic press (optional)

• 1 leek, washed, trimmed and chopped

• 2 large carrots, chopped

• 2 tins of tomatoes (don’t get the ones which are in herbs)

• 1 tablespoon of caster sugar

• 1 pint of chicken stock (from a cube is fine)

• ½ pint of milk

• 1 tablespoon of oil

Add the oil, onions, garlic, leek and carrots into a large pan. Cook on high for one minute stirring constantly. Cover the pan then reduce the heat down to low and cook for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Next add the tomatoes and the sugar into the pan and cook on high for five minutes, again stirring constantly.

Now add the stock then bring everything to a simmer and cook uncovered for about an hour. Test to see if the vegetables are cooked. If not simmer for another 10 – 15 minutes.

Put the soup in a blender. You’ll need to do this a couple of times so pour the blended soup into a clean pan.

Loosen the puréed soup with the milk and put back on the heat until the soup is hot.

If you prefer a clearer soup, after blending, sieve the soup to remove the bits then add the milk as before.

Recipe of the week – Captain Slow’s* chicken parcels

The cooking in the slow cooker makes the chicken really moist. At the bottom of the recipe are what to do if you don't have a slow cooker.

Serves 2

• 2 chicken breasts, skinless and at a room temperature

• ¼ packet of stuffing mix

• 2 sheets of oiled kitchen foil

Add a little water to the dry stuffing mix. If it's too watery just add a bit more of the dry mix.

Open out the centre of the chicken breasts slightly with a knife, being careful not to cut right through the chicken.

Put the stuffing mix in the cavity you've just made in the chicken breast.

Close up the chicken so the stuffing is hidden. Don’t worry if some of the stuffing pop's out or the chicken won't close together

Put the breasts onto the middle of the greased foil, then bring together the two long ends of the foil till they meet and are level with each other. Fold down the long edges and keep doing this until the chicken is tightly wrapped.

Bring together the short edges of the foil to the middle of the chicken. This give you a handle to lift the hot chicken out of the cooker.

Cook in a slow cooker on Low for 8 hours.

Once the chicken is cooked lift it out of the slow cooker using the foil handles you made, then carefully, as the steam will come shooting out, open up the chicken parcel and put on a warmed plate.

Serve with vegetables and potatoes of your choice (I don't think chips will go very well with this though.....).

If you're baking potatoes in an conventional oven why not pop a couple of frozen mini Yorkshire puddings into the oven five minutes before the end of cooking.

As there's no gravy for this recipe, instant gravy granules are ideal for this. Just make up a ¼ pint and that should be more than enough for the two of you.

If you don’t have a slow cooker you can cook this in a conventional oven for 30 minutes at 180º c/Gas Mk 4/ Fan oven 160ºc.

Make sure that the chicken is completely cooked through. The chicken won’t be as tender done this way but it’ll still be nice dish.

* Captain Slow is what we call our slow cooker – yes I know we're sad.....

Recipe of the week – Lemon crunch cake

A delicious syrupy cake with a crunchy lemon topping. You could also make this using oranges. Simply replace the lemon with the orange.

• 3oz self-raising flour

• 3oz caster sugar

• 3oz margarine

• 2 eggs (medium)

• 1 lemon grated

Topping:

• 3oz granulated sugar

• Juice from one lemon

Line a 7 inch/18cm round cake tin with baking parchment or a non-stick liner (Lakeland sell them and they’re brilliant).

Pre-heat oven to 180º c/Gas Mk 4. Fan oven 160ºc

Sift the flour into a bowl then add the sugar, margarine and lemon rind.

Beat well until everything is combined and the mixture is smooth.

Pour the mixture into the cake tin then make a slight well in the centre of the cake. This will stop the centre from rising too much.

Bake for 40 – 45 minutes until golden brown. To check to see if it’s cooked gently press the surface of the cake with a finger. If it springs back it’s cooked.

Sprinkle the sugar all over the top of the hot cake then carefully spoon the lemon juice over the sugar making sure ever bit of sugar is covered.

Leave the cake to cool completely in the tin to allow the lemon topping to harden.

All the weights are in ‘old money’. If you want them in Metric, you’ll have to convert it yourself….

Recipe of the week – Burgers

These are so quick and easy to make. They'll be great done the BBQ.

Serves 2

• 6oz mince
• 2 slices of bread
• 1 teaspoon of dried mixed herbs
• Black pepper (to taste)
• 2 cheese slices
• 2 burger buns
• Tomato ketchup and mustard (optional)

Put the bread into a food mixer and blitz until it’s turned into fine breadcrumbs.

Add the herbs and black pepper. Blitz again for a couple of seconds.

Add the mince and blitz again until everything is combined.

Divide the burger mince into two and form a burger shape. Put on a plate and place in the fridge for ½ hour.

Pre-heat the grill to high then once it's really hot, turn the heat down to medium and cook the burgers, turning them a couple of times, until they are thoroughly cooked or cooked to your liking.

Add the cheese slices to the burgers and return to the grill for a couple of minutes until the cheese has slightly melted.

After cutting the buns in half put a dollop of ketchup and mustard, if using, on each half. Add the burgers and enjoy.

You can also make the burgers using turkey mince. They taste great and are low in fat so you won't feel guilty about eating a burger......

All the weights are in ‘old money’. If you want them in Metric, you’ll have to convert it yourself….

Recipe of the week – Chicken wraps

Extremely quick and so easy to make.

Serves 2

• Cooked chicken (as much or as little as you like)
• 1 green pepper, de-seeded and cut into thin strips
• 1 red pepper, de-seeded and cut into thin strips
• 1 onion (white or red), cut into thin strips
• Schwartz Fajita Powder
• Teaspoon of oil
• 4 wraps

Heat the oil in a large frying over a medium heat. Put the chicken, peppers and onions into the pan and turn the heat up to medium high.

Cook for seven/10 minutes minutes, stirring occasionally. One minutes before the end of cooking shake over the Fajita powder. You’ll need about a dessert spoonful.

Heat the wraps in a microwave according to the instructions on the packet.

Spoon the mix into a warmed bowl and serve.

NHS time

I had an appointment yesterday at 6.30pm to see my GP. It was just a review of some new painkillers I’d been taken.

The phone rang at five past six. It was the doctors surgery.

“Hi Marie. You have an appointment with Dr Blake today at 6.30pm”.

“That’s correct”, I replied.

“Unfortunately Dr Blake is running an hour and a half late”.

The surgery closes at 7.30pm.

“I can give you an appointment for Friday morning at 10.10am”.

“I’m sorry but that’s no good”, I said.

“Ok, how about ten to seven this evening….”

Try working that one out !!!!!!!!!