P***** Off

As you can see I’m a little cheesed off. Three guesses as to why…

Yes that’s right, it’s our new neighbours.

I had hoped that seeing as they spent their first night in their new home, they would have finally ceased with all the banging, drilling, hammering and their obsession with power tools.

How wrong I was ! ! !

It would seem that they are now starting to replace the floor boards in the remaining two bedrooms. As one of the rooms is adjacent to my work room, the noise in here is deafening.

I’m starting to wish ‘John’s theory’ would come true. He thinks they have bought the house to modernise it then sell it for profit.

To say I hate our new neighbours is an understatement…

Marie

Moving in time

It would seem that there is moving activity next door as today the new neighbours started bringing in some furniture. You would expect this to be a quiet affair. Our new neighbours quiet – you must be joking. Every time they unloaded the car, it set off our phantom door bell.

Of course no day would be complete without a bit of banging. They had their television Arial replaced…

It look like we’ll be getting more new neighbours as Greg and Kay who live opposite have today put their house up for sale and the house at the end of our street has also just gone up for sale.

Was it something I said ! ! !

Marie

You know when it's getting close ...

You know when it’s getting close to an HBA Spring Conference when :

Marie is looking at dress patterns.

Our dining room is full of boxes.

Viking Direct raise our credit limit.

We start thinking in terms of days to go instead of weeks to go.

Paul starts to blog about minibus hire.

Our alcohol consumption rises (the stress, the stress !!)

Large quantities of cash are stolen.

Not long now ...

John

Marie’s Theory

Apologies for not blogging for awhile but there hasn’t really been anything exciting to report.

My ankle is still swollen and rather painful so haven’t ventured into the outside world by myself. Weather permitting I’m doing that tomorrow – wish me luck ! ! !

We went to Blackpool on Friday night for a meeting with the hotel on Saturday morning to finalise things for conference. Driving there was fine (moving the accelerator pedal was good exercise for my ankle), however walking wasn’t…

Still the pain was worth when we checked into our room. The hotel had given us a suite and to say it was huge is an understatement. We counted eight different rooms ! ! ! Shame we were only there for less than 13 hours.

Anyway about my theory. It concerns the new neighbours. Having ‘moved in’ 17 weeks ago, they’re still hammering, banging, drilling and demolishing from 8.30am – 6pm, seven days a week.

Because of the current state of the housing market, the new neighbours wanted a new modern built property but couldn’t afford one.

They bought Dennis’s house due to it being in need of a little TLC. As modern properties are open plan, bland and soulless, they decided to rip out all the glorious features of a 1910’s terrace house.

That’s the only plausible theory I can come up as Dennis’s house was a little tired but really only required cosmetic work doing to it.

Marie

Upset me at your peril

Remember my encounter on Friday with the nasty nurse in A&E. Well I made a complaint against her this morning.

I didn’t like doing it but she gave me no choice as her behaviour and attitude was not what I expected from a member of the medical profession.

The Matron in charge of A&E rang me this afternoon and was most apologetic. She has assured me that the matter will be dealt with.

My ankle has been throbbing this afternoon. I wonder if the nurse has been putting pins in a ‘Marie’ doll…

Whilst I’m on the subject of the NHS, I had to cancel my dentist appointment. I was meant to be there this afternoon but because of my ankle I couldn’t make it. The earliest rescheduled appointment they could give me is 4th May. By then it’ll be six months since my initial appointment.

I’m glad I’m not suffering from toothache ! ! !

Marie

Snap

You know I hate shopping, and in particularly grocery shopping. Well it took it’s revenge out on me last night.

As we were walking out of Morrisons I heard and felt a snap in my right ankle. To say it was painful is an understatement.

Thankfully the car was parked quite close to the entrance so I didn’t have far to hobble.

During the night my ankle decided to swell and as the pain was unbearable, I decided this morning to call NHS direct to see what I should do.

As the little man said ‘anything that snaps isn’t good’, so I was told to go to A&E as he thought I’d snapped my Achilles tendon.

John had just arrived at work only to receive a phone call asking him to take me to A&E.

Having been seen by two lovely triage nurses and waiting over two hours we finally got seen by a nurse practitioner who must have been suffering from Friday blues as she wasn’t a nice person at all.

She was extremely blunt, had no bed side manner and could have done with a couple of lessons at the local charm school. Her diagnosis – I hadn’t snapped my Achilles tendon but failed to say what the problem was and would get the physio to come in to see me. Then she left the room. No good bye, sod off, nothing…

It was the physio who told me that I had torn the ligaments in my ankle. So I’ve got to rest it for a few day, take loads of painkillers, put an ice pack on it twice a day and it should take about three weeks to heal.

All I can see is thank goodness I did it now and not a week before Blackpool conference! ! !

Marie

A stitch in time

It’s that time of year again were I start planning the dress I’m going to make for the HBA Spring conference.

Having looked through all the various pattern books I’ve come to the conclusion that:

A) I’m too fat
B) I’m too short
C) I’m too big busted

All the patterns I like are no good because they fall into one or more of the above.

I can do something about A but not in the timescale. There’s only seven weeks to Blackpool so not much chance of loosing that much weight.

Unless I get leg extensions there isn’t much I can do about B.

And sadly dieting does nothing to reduce my bust so my only option would be surgery. Not something I quite fancy.

So it’s back to the drawing board – now there’s an idea….

Marie

A to Z

Thought I’d copy Gottle so here are my A to Z’s.

[A is for age:]
37
[B is for booze of choice:]
Wine, wine and more wine and Pimms in the summer
[C is for career:]
Housewife
[D is for your dog’s name:]
Don’t have one
[E is for essential items you use everyday:]
Computer
[F is for favourite song(s) at the moment:]
‘Penny to my name’ sung by Eva Cassidy and ‘I’ll build a stairway to Paradise’ sung by Issy van Randwyck
[G is for favourite games:]
Backgammon
[H is for hometown:]
Sunderland
[I is for instruments you play:]
Piano (badly), recorder and used to play the clarinet
[J is for jam or jelly you like:]
Blackcurrant
[K is for kids:]
No way ! ! !
[L is for last kiss:]
1 minute ago
[M is for most admired trait:]
Loves animals
[N is for name of your crush:]
The football player Bryan Robson when I was at school
[O is for overnight hospital stays:]
Lots
[P is for phobias:]
Thunder and lightning, loud noises and creepy crawlies
[Q is for quotes you like:]
‘We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy but because they are hard’ President John F Kennedy
[R is for biggest regret:]
Giving up teacher training to join the civil service
[S is for sweets of your choice:]
Chocolate and fizzy cola bottles
[T is for time you wake up:]
Several times during the night
[U is for underwear:]
Non-wired bras and anything from M&S
[V is for vegetables you love:]
What’s them…
[W is for worst habit:]
Having to the loo three times before going to sleep
[X is for x-rays you’ve had:]
Loads
[Y is for yummy food you make:]
Fruit cake
[Z is for zodiac sign:]
Virgo

Marie

Friday part 1 (again)

It may not be word for word perfect but here goes…

On Friday I took my mam shopping at Sainsburys. Food shopping with my mam is always an experience but as she had a cold it was like shopping with someone on speed ! ! !

The fruit and veg section. “Do you know were er is”.
I should explain. My mam thinks that everyone is telepathic so doesn’t need to say anything else other than ‘er’.

After a process of elimination I finally guessed what she wanted only to have to repeat the process over and over again.

Still in fruit and veg. “Do you want some tomatoes”.
“Mam, I don’t like tomatoes and you know I don’t, yet you ask me this every time”. “Well I only asked in case you changed your mind”.

The uncooked meat aisle. She spends quite a while looking at the variety of sausages then says “I don’t like sausages”.

The ready made meals aisle. “What can ‘you’ have for a change”, she asks.
“Mam I don’t have RMM”.
It transpires that ‘you’ means ‘I’ (I’ll have to remember that one…). She spends ages looking at the different meals then said she doesn’t like RRM either.

The dairy aisle and she’s standing facing the yoghurts. “Can you see any er”.
“A clue would be helpful”.
“Yoghurts”.
I resist the temptation to be sarcastic so ask “what kind”.
“Sainsburys own”.
“Narrowing it down, any particular one”.
“The Winter Collection”.

After spending ages searching I couldn’t find them.
“Found them”, she says picking up Autumn Fruits…

This is the edited version. Imagine the whole thing ! ! !

Marie

Friday part 3

For some strange reason Friday part 1 has disappeared from my blog….

I did publish it – honest ! ! ! John will be my witness as he remembers reading it.

I’ll type it up again tomorrow.

Marie

Friday part 2

While at Sainsburys on Friday I decided to hand in my prescriptions. I needed more tablets for my IBS, more cold sore cream and a sachet of penicillin for when I have my teeth scaled and polished at the dentist next Monday.

These three items cost me £19.50 ! ! ! The woman in the chemist commented that it’s expensive to be ill. Too right…

One thing drove me to drink on Friday and it wasn’t the cost of the prescriptions. It was the musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I’ve mentioned before that the programme is a lot funnier when accompanied by alcohol. Don’t ask me how I would have coped watching it sober.

Boy was it awful ! ! !

Marie

PS John says I should have called my blog ‘Friday the Third, part 2’. Now I do need a drink…

Too good to be true

Yesterday for the first time since the new neighbours started demolishing (sorry – renovating…) their house they did so in relative silence.

I know what you’re thinking they were having the day off. No I could still hear them going up and down the stairs (no carpet + heavy shoes = slight noise) but no banging, hammering, drilling, sawing. Nothing.

Having had one of the worst weeks of noise last week, this was a welcome relief. Last week they decided to remove the chimney breast from the kitchen. You can imagine the noise. It was so bad that I couldn’t hear anyone on the phone, no matter what room I was in…

Sadly peace and tranquillity has ceased as they were back working today on the chimney breast again. If that wasn’t enough the council are digging up the road in the back lane just outside our house.

Where did I put my ear plugs ! ! !

Marie

I hate plumbing.

We’ve got a leaky pipe, and it’s got previous form.

Let me explain. When our heating system was installed, years before we bought the house, some of the pipes were laid across other pipes. They began to rub, and eventually, after about a dozen years or so one of them (the main hot water feed from the tank) wore through. The leak was under the floor in my office, and the water appeared in our living room at about 10pm on New Years Eve, three years ago. Temporary repairs were made and the next day a proper repair was effected.

All was fine except for a slight drip and even this stopped once the joint settled in.

That is until we had the boiler replaced, and now one of the joints in the repair is leaking again. I suspect it’s because the hot water is now pumped instead of being gravity fed (more pressure). It’s an awkward spot and I can’t get any more leverage to tighten it without doing serious damage to the rest of the pipework. It loses one drop every 45 seconds or so. This one showed itself on December 29th. Just as well it didn’t start two days later or we would have returned home from Jan’s party to a rather damp carpet. I put a tray under the leak to see how quickly it filled and a day or so later there was only a wet stain to be seen.

And guess what. We were sitting minding our own business after lunch today when Marie thought she heard a sound coming from one of the radiators. The sort of “ping ping” sound you get as they heat up or cool down. Only the heating was off and it wasn’t “ping ping”. It was “drip drip”. So up came the carpet and floorboards in the office, and yes, the tray was full. It’s a funny thing but I was only saying to Marie yesterday that next weekend we’ll fix the paper on the ceiling where it was affected by the damp, and check the tray. So now we know we’ll need to check it about once every three or four weeks until it gets bored and seals itself.

I hate plumbing.

John

Room 101

Sunday’s blog was the challenge set by Jenny to blog 5 things that define my own particular brand of quirkiness.

Well today I’m going to give you a list of the things I’d like to be put in ‘Room 101’.

Wasps: Unlike the bee which has a purpose in life and dies when it stings you, wasps don’t. They should be issued with ASBO’s…

Cold sores: It starts with a tingle on the lip, or an itchy nose or eye, then seconds later a huge blister appears and for the next five days it’s sheer hell. Not only are they painful, but you can’t eat or drink properly and no kisses ! ! !

Trifle: Three of my worst foods rolled into one: custard, soggy sponge cake and cream. What more can I say.

Arran jumpers: Apologies to the lovely residents of Arran but their jumpers are awful. John had a very out-of-shape one which he liked because it kept him warm when working on rallies. As soon as we got married I threw it out when he was at work. I don’t think he’s ever forgiven me…

White cars: They always seem to be driven by people who don’t give a damn about other road users, and don’t get me started if the car happens to be a BMW.

Gregorian chant:*: John loves them. I hate them. They are supposed to be very calming. I must be missing something as they drive me up the wall ! ! !

And finally for people who really know me ‘Saturday arrivals’…

Marie

* For those of you who don’t know what a Gregorian chant is, it’s acapella church music from the middle ages.

Thanks Jenny

This blog is brought to you in association with Jenny who got the idea from Stu.

I have to blog about 5 things that define my own particular brand of quirkiness. So here goes but in no order:

Toilet rolls must be white. I can’t stand coloured loo rolls. I’d rather use newspaper (as long as it’s white…).

Books in bookcases must be arranged in height order by author, with the tallest on the left – this drives John mad as he does his by subject.

I take my coffee very very weak. About three granules per cup. I’ve been known to ask for a jug of hot water at conference gala dinners to dilute the coffee.

I grind my teeth in bed. Apparently, so I’m told as I’m asleep at the time, it sounds like a bag of marbles been shaken.

I can go all day without going to the loo but once I get into bed I have to go at least three times before I can get to sleep.

Marie

Foiled !!

Regular readers will know that Marie is pretty fed up with the new neighbours and their power tool fetish (even on Christmas day !!).

So imagine how pleased she was when I said that I needed to drill a hole not in, but right through a wall. At last, a chance to give the neighbours a taste of their own medicine.

Sadly it was not to be. Last Christmas Santa brought me a super duper SDS-Plus hammer drill, which, with a brand new 16mm bit ate it's way through the wall in less than 30 seconds. My old drill would have taken nmore like 30 minutes.

On the plus side I can say I'm very pleased with the drill. I can honestly say that the performance was awesome, and at less then £30 from Screwfix the manchine is a bargain.

John

Things never go to plan

Tonight’s meal was going to be oven baked lemon chicken and vegetables.

However it didn’t quite work out like that. It normally only takes the chicken half an hour to cook so the vegetables were drained and put on the plates waiting for the chicken to come out of the oven.

On opening the foil parcels the chicken was a lovely shade of pink ! ! !

Not to worry, I’ll put them back in the oven for another ten minutes and reheat the vegetables in the microwave.

10 minutes later and the chicken still wasn’t cooked.

Another 10 minutes and it was still pink so we decided to have pie and chips instead.

An hour and a half after the chicken was put in the oven it was finally cooked.

Any one want some lemon chicken…

Marie

It’s all Paul’s fault

After reading Gottle’s Blog about grabbing the nearest book, opening it at page 123 then writing down the text of the fifth sentence, we decided to do this with the books we currently have on the go at the moment.

Here’s Marie’s:

‘I was supposed to pick up this girl and take her home, but when I looked for her she had disappeared.’ A talent for Genius – The Life and Times of Oscar Levant

‘A Tora roller is sometimes called an aytz chayyim (plural, atzay chayyum,), meaning “tree of life”, the name by which the Tora itself is sometimes called.’ The Jewish Book of Why

‘One of the greatest pleasures of this passage for me is its varieties of language.’ The Joy of Writing Sex

‘As one teacher remembers: Those who had lived on bread and cakes with jam, cheese and chips, as many of the poor did, no longer had them and were much healthier for it.’ Bombers & Mash

‘One very good contrast is afforded by a pound of rumpsteak at fourteenpence, and a pound of beans or lentils at twopence.’ The 1915 edition of Mrs Beetons’ Book of Household Management


Here’s John’s:

‘The confusion arose largely because of one man, John Wallis, who wrote a self-serving account of the early days of the Royal in 1678.’ The Fellowship – The Story of a Revolution

‘Throughout history, most armies (there are some exceptions) have been composed of a triad of three arms: infantry, whether Roman legionaries carrying short swords and javelins or modern troops carrying assault rifles; artillery, which has ranged from stone-throwing ballistae to the Multi-Launched Rocket Systems of the Gulf War; and a mobile arm.’ Forgotten Victory – The First World War: Myths and Realities

‘His wife and teenage daughters were waiting back home, hoping Daddy got Europe and cycling out if his system before his ankles melted.’ French Revolutions – Cycling the Tour De France

‘We always leave and take a chance, said Monica, and we always break down.’ Narrow Dog to Carcassonne

And finally:

‘He noticed Kate was standing watching, but chose to ignore her.’ The Flower of Ludwell by Marie Harper (unfinished…)

Marie & John

Ouch, ouch, ouch

I have quite a high pain threshold. Well with my pains I have to otherwise I’d never get out of bed.

That is however until I start plucking my eyebrows. Then I become a whimpering wreak begging myself to stop as the pain is unbearable.

The only way I can get the job done with a moderate amount of pain is by doing it while lying in a hot bath, which is what I did last night.

Women, why do we do it ! ! !

Marie

Bits and bobs

Late on Thursday night I remembered I’d forgotten to get my mam some wheelie bin liners. It’s Morrisons’ fault again. If they hadn’t caused me to have two tantrums I would have remembered.

Feeling guilty that I’d forgotten them I decided to be brave* and call in yesterday morning on my way to my mams.

I’m pleased to report that they had restocked the shelves so I got the peppers and the milk. No such look with the leeks though. Can’t expect miracles can I.

Last night while eating our Chinese** John let me watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I normally watch it when he’s at work as it’s not quite his thing. However as I’d been at my mams all day I had to video it as she doesn’t have Sky.

The plan was to watch something else once we’d finished eating. 1 ½ hours and a couple of glasses of wine later it was still on and although it’s funny normally, under the influence of alcohol it’s hilarious. Even John thought so ! ! !

John mentioned in his Blog that we went to Makro this morning. What he didn’t tell you was while he was unloading the car at the front of the house, the lady new neighbour was seeing off visitors and completely ignored him. No ‘hello I’m your new neighbour’, no smile, no acknowledgment. Nothing.

Looks like they won’t be getting a welcome to your new home card…

Marie


* Every weekday between the hours of 9am and 5pm it’s crammed with senior citizens who treat grocery shopping as a day out.

** We’ve abandoned having pizza on Friday night. It took ages for it to arrive by which time it was cold and re-heated pizza isn’t that appetising…