A new arrival

We have a new member to the Bogof household. Her name is Gertrude (or Gertie for short) and she’s my new tailors dummy.

When she arrived she was lovely and slim. However now, having put my measurements into her, she’s rather tubby ! ! !

I was going to show you a picture of her ‘naked’ but this is a respectable blog…

Marie

Spend, spend, spend

John came home from work on Thursday with a lovely surprise. Every member of staff had been given a bonus and his was a four figure sum ! ! !

Seeing as John worked hard for his bonus it was only fair to let him decide how it should be spent. So it’s being split three ways. John, me and the house.

John has bought himself a new digital camera.

I’ve bought myself a tailors dummy, the entire series of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on DVD (yes I know I’m sad…) and series eight, nine and ten of M*A*S*H on DVD. I’ve also done something which my gender doesn’t do – I haven’t spent it all ! ! ! !

The house has decided it would like its share to go towards DIY projects.

Marie

Easter weekend

I’m pleased to report that both banned weekends went splendidly.

Hospital radio wasn’t mentioned all weekend which was wonderful – could get used to this - and our banned food were yummy ! ! !

We spent Good Friday, Saturday and Easter Monday painting. Well isn’t that what Bank Holidays are for…

There’s still a little bit more work to do next weekend so once it’s completed some before and after pictures will be posted.

We had a good try at eating all the Christmas chocolate over the weekend but I’m afraid to report that we failed miserably. There’s still two half bars of Toblerone left plus a hardly touched box of Flake chocolates from my mam (she decided to give us them instead of an Easter egg).

All this chocolate isn’t helping our diet. There’s only 10 weeks to our holiday and we promised ourselves to try and lose a bit of weight before then.

Once the chocolate is all gone we will get back to our diet – honest ! ! !

Marie

Banned weekend

No I don’t mean the thing we banned in yesterday’s blog, but something else.

Every bank holiday we have a banned weekend. This is a weekend where food that is normally forbidden because they’re too fattening is allowed.

So this weekend we’re having bacon sandwiches, sandwiches from our local deli, pate, hot dogs, garlic bread, nan bread and chicken Kiev. Plus lots of chocolate, cake, and hot cross buns.

Can’t wait for the next bank holiday ! ! !

Marie

Normal service has resumed

Yes folks, we’re back. Blackpool conference and hospital radio work I’m afraid took up rather a lot of our time, hence no blogs.

To protect our sanity and give us a bit of a break we’re made an executive decision that from now until the end of Easter the subject of HR will be banned.

So what else has happened while we’ve been away. I’m pleased to report that the cold sores in my eye has cleared up and no damage has been done.

I’m in the wars again. Last Saturday I was a bit over zealous chopping an onion and chopped my finger nail instead. I couldn’t bear another trip to A&E so we managed to patched it up ourselves. Whilst I was at the doctors on Wednesday collecting a prescription, I asked the nurse to have a look at it. It’s still looks a bit yucky but is ok. However until the nail has grown back I have to keep it covered with a plaster. Thankfully the chemist had a 3 for 2 offer on plasters…

We now know why there was a lot of banging, hammering etc coming from next door. We don’t think they are very quick at DIY. They are having a brick wall build at the front and it’s taken them two weeks to remove the old small wall and two days to lay a wall nine bricks high. When we had the same thing done it only took a day to do.

We had loads of chocolate left from Christmas so decided to hide them and eat at Easter instead of an Easter egg. As there was too much chocolate to physically eat in a couple of days we decided to start early. Monday and Tuesday saw us polish off a dark and a milk Terry’s Chocolate Orange. Yesterday was half a box of chocolate truffles. Tonight will be the other half… Still to eat is a box of Celebrations and two large Toblerones – and not a ‘Steve’ in sight ! ! !

Marie

Eye eye

Typical. No blog for days then two comes along…

All day Friday and Saturday my right eye was really itchey and sore. I had a bit of a poke around but couldn’t find anything wrong.

This morning I found out why my eye was so itchy and sore. A nice clump of cold sores had appeared both near and in my eye.

Normally I would have gone straight to the doctors as cold sores in the eye can cause you to go blind if the infection spreads. However this is a weekend and our doctor surgery only work weekdays, it meant a trip to the A&E department of the local Eye Hospital.

Thankfully we only had to wait 1 1/2 hours as the notice board said the waiting time is between 2 to 3 hours, and longer at weekends.

As the cold sores have affected only the white part of my eye, I don’t have to take oral antibiotics. I have them in eye drop form instead. Excellent news as I wouldn’t have been able to drink at Blackpool if I were on the tablets. Yippee ! ! !

At the moment my eye is painful, swollen and blurred, and doing nothing for the bags under my eyes…. Hopefully it won’t get to the purple stage as that’s when it resembles a black eye.

You can image the comments I’ll get next week. I think I’ll have a ‘it’s not a black eye’ badge printed just in case….

Marie

Mothers Day

As it’s Mothers day I thought I’d tell you a little bit about my mam.

I’ve already mentioned previously that she thinks everyone is telepathic. What I haven’t told you is that she has a finely tuned sense of smell, taste and hearing.

She can smell Carbon Monoxide. Gloria, her next door neighbour, had a leak of Carbon Monoxide and my mam claims she could smell it seeping though the walls.

She knows when the food is nearing its ‘best before date’ as she can gradually taste it going off. This happens especially with milk .When the ‘bbd’ is up everything suddenly tastes awful. Whenever I’m shopping for her, I must make sure that the date stamp is well in advance otherwise she won’t have it.

Confession time – I once bought her some milk and forgot to look at the date stamp. It only had two days to go and knowing her obsession, tore the label off so she wouldn’t know. I half expected a phone call two days later complaining about the milk. No phone call. A week later and she was still using the milk…

She came to ours for Christmas day and was convinced she could hear the roast potatoes burning. The sound would have had had to pass through the Aga door, through the closed kitchen door, along the hall way, through the closed dining room door then into the living room.

Whenever we go shopping at Dainty Supplies (a haberdashery shop where I get my dressmaking fabric), we always bicker over fabric and patterns. The assistances know us very well so act as referees.

She is a red head so had a temper to match. I used to have quite a bit of red in my hair when I was younger so the arguments we used to have were beauties.

For all her ‘quaintness’ she’s still a wonderful mother.

Marie

No more lady Vicar

First of all, apologies for not blogging for ages but we’ve been rather busy with Blackpool conference. I’ve stored up what I was going to blog so will tell all later.

Now about this lady vicar. For the past couple of months my hairdresser Gillian has been encouraging me to grow my hair. I fancied a changed so decide to give it a go.

Three weeks ago and I was (excuse the pun) tearing my hair out. It took ages for it to dry, kept sticking up and worst of all showed up all my grey hairs ! ! !

I decided to perceiver as Gillian was coming in a couple of days time. Then I got a phone call. ‘Sorry Marie, but James (her son) has to go into hospital to have his tonsils out. I have to cancel your appointment and can’t fit you in until another three weeks time’.

Aaaaahhhhhhhh

As each day went by my hair got worse and worse. Then the most frightening thing happened. I started to look like a lady vicar….. I’ve got nothing against these lovely ladies but they do seem to have disastrous hairstyles – think Christine from a Seaside Parish. It got to the stage were I was embarrassed to go out, it was that bad.

Gillian came this morning and I’m really pleased to report that I’m no longer a lady vicar as I’m back to my normal short hair.

Wonderful ! ! !

Marie

What no Blog

Apologies for not Blogging for a while.

At the start of the week we were both feeling pretty rotten – and no it wasn’t alcohol related ! ! ! John was in the middle of a cold and I was just starting one. We were so rough on Sunday that we didn’t get up until 2pm…

I’ve made a start making my dress for Blackpool conference. As I couldn’t find any patterns suitable (see a Stitch in Time), I decided to reuse one of my previous patterns. However the last time I made that particular dress I was at least a stone lighter so consequently I’ve had to alter the pattern.

The last time I wore that dress I was also smaller in the bust region so seeing as it’s backless I was able to wear one of those multi-way bras. Not this time.

Yesterday I went to the Metro Centre with my mam – the first time out shopping since tearing the ligaments in my ankle – and I went to M&S to get measured for a bigger size multi-way bra. Having taken my measurements the assistant then went looking for the bra in my size but came back empty handed. They don’t make them in my size.

The only thing she could recommend was a strapless bra, in a size bigger than I would normally have, then pull the back bit down and secure it in place with some toupee tape. I bet Jordan doesn’t have this problem ! ! !

Sorry Jenny but more references to Blackpool. We went shopping this morning at Makro and came back with nice things for conference packs. Having taken a large delivery last Wednesday from Viking Direct, our dining room is now rapidly looking like a stationary warehouse. What’s worse is that the nice things from Makro are also in there too ! !

Marie

PS if you like dogs and have satellite television, have a listen to GlobCast Radio as they are presenting Crufts FM. If you hear a man with a North East accent, that’s John Hindhaugh - he was best man at our wedding….

Right Of Reply

If anyone feels that we're being unfair by denying you the right of reply when we post these ramblings, our only defence is that it's not our fault. I changed some settings and the "leave comment" option has vanished. I can't get it back and I can't even ask you to leave a comment telling me how to put it back.

John

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

When we opened the bedroom curtains this morning everywhere was covered in snow. There must have been at least 3 inches.

My late father in law always took great delight in saying that it never snows by the coast.

My very first Christmas living ‘by the coast’ and we had a 6 inch white Christmas.

Whenever it snowed I used to remind my father in law about what he said only to receive the reply – ‘It’s your fault. We never had snow until you moved to Fulwell’.

So if anyone wants snow in their area, let me know…

Marie

P***** Off

As you can see I’m a little cheesed off. Three guesses as to why…

Yes that’s right, it’s our new neighbours.

I had hoped that seeing as they spent their first night in their new home, they would have finally ceased with all the banging, drilling, hammering and their obsession with power tools.

How wrong I was ! ! !

It would seem that they are now starting to replace the floor boards in the remaining two bedrooms. As one of the rooms is adjacent to my work room, the noise in here is deafening.

I’m starting to wish ‘John’s theory’ would come true. He thinks they have bought the house to modernise it then sell it for profit.

To say I hate our new neighbours is an understatement…

Marie

Moving in time

It would seem that there is moving activity next door as today the new neighbours started bringing in some furniture. You would expect this to be a quiet affair. Our new neighbours quiet – you must be joking. Every time they unloaded the car, it set off our phantom door bell.

Of course no day would be complete without a bit of banging. They had their television Arial replaced…

It look like we’ll be getting more new neighbours as Greg and Kay who live opposite have today put their house up for sale and the house at the end of our street has also just gone up for sale.

Was it something I said ! ! !

Marie

You know when it's getting close ...

You know when it’s getting close to an HBA Spring Conference when :

Marie is looking at dress patterns.

Our dining room is full of boxes.

Viking Direct raise our credit limit.

We start thinking in terms of days to go instead of weeks to go.

Paul starts to blog about minibus hire.

Our alcohol consumption rises (the stress, the stress !!)

Large quantities of cash are stolen.

Not long now ...

John

Marie’s Theory

Apologies for not blogging for awhile but there hasn’t really been anything exciting to report.

My ankle is still swollen and rather painful so haven’t ventured into the outside world by myself. Weather permitting I’m doing that tomorrow – wish me luck ! ! !

We went to Blackpool on Friday night for a meeting with the hotel on Saturday morning to finalise things for conference. Driving there was fine (moving the accelerator pedal was good exercise for my ankle), however walking wasn’t…

Still the pain was worth when we checked into our room. The hotel had given us a suite and to say it was huge is an understatement. We counted eight different rooms ! ! ! Shame we were only there for less than 13 hours.

Anyway about my theory. It concerns the new neighbours. Having ‘moved in’ 17 weeks ago, they’re still hammering, banging, drilling and demolishing from 8.30am – 6pm, seven days a week.

Because of the current state of the housing market, the new neighbours wanted a new modern built property but couldn’t afford one.

They bought Dennis’s house due to it being in need of a little TLC. As modern properties are open plan, bland and soulless, they decided to rip out all the glorious features of a 1910’s terrace house.

That’s the only plausible theory I can come up as Dennis’s house was a little tired but really only required cosmetic work doing to it.

Marie

Upset me at your peril

Remember my encounter on Friday with the nasty nurse in A&E. Well I made a complaint against her this morning.

I didn’t like doing it but she gave me no choice as her behaviour and attitude was not what I expected from a member of the medical profession.

The Matron in charge of A&E rang me this afternoon and was most apologetic. She has assured me that the matter will be dealt with.

My ankle has been throbbing this afternoon. I wonder if the nurse has been putting pins in a ‘Marie’ doll…

Whilst I’m on the subject of the NHS, I had to cancel my dentist appointment. I was meant to be there this afternoon but because of my ankle I couldn’t make it. The earliest rescheduled appointment they could give me is 4th May. By then it’ll be six months since my initial appointment.

I’m glad I’m not suffering from toothache ! ! !

Marie

Snap

You know I hate shopping, and in particularly grocery shopping. Well it took it’s revenge out on me last night.

As we were walking out of Morrisons I heard and felt a snap in my right ankle. To say it was painful is an understatement.

Thankfully the car was parked quite close to the entrance so I didn’t have far to hobble.

During the night my ankle decided to swell and as the pain was unbearable, I decided this morning to call NHS direct to see what I should do.

As the little man said ‘anything that snaps isn’t good’, so I was told to go to A&E as he thought I’d snapped my Achilles tendon.

John had just arrived at work only to receive a phone call asking him to take me to A&E.

Having been seen by two lovely triage nurses and waiting over two hours we finally got seen by a nurse practitioner who must have been suffering from Friday blues as she wasn’t a nice person at all.

She was extremely blunt, had no bed side manner and could have done with a couple of lessons at the local charm school. Her diagnosis – I hadn’t snapped my Achilles tendon but failed to say what the problem was and would get the physio to come in to see me. Then she left the room. No good bye, sod off, nothing…

It was the physio who told me that I had torn the ligaments in my ankle. So I’ve got to rest it for a few day, take loads of painkillers, put an ice pack on it twice a day and it should take about three weeks to heal.

All I can see is thank goodness I did it now and not a week before Blackpool conference! ! !

Marie

A stitch in time

It’s that time of year again were I start planning the dress I’m going to make for the HBA Spring conference.

Having looked through all the various pattern books I’ve come to the conclusion that:

A) I’m too fat
B) I’m too short
C) I’m too big busted

All the patterns I like are no good because they fall into one or more of the above.

I can do something about A but not in the timescale. There’s only seven weeks to Blackpool so not much chance of loosing that much weight.

Unless I get leg extensions there isn’t much I can do about B.

And sadly dieting does nothing to reduce my bust so my only option would be surgery. Not something I quite fancy.

So it’s back to the drawing board – now there’s an idea….

Marie

A to Z

Thought I’d copy Gottle so here are my A to Z’s.

[A is for age:]
37
[B is for booze of choice:]
Wine, wine and more wine and Pimms in the summer
[C is for career:]
Housewife
[D is for your dog’s name:]
Don’t have one
[E is for essential items you use everyday:]
Computer
[F is for favourite song(s) at the moment:]
‘Penny to my name’ sung by Eva Cassidy and ‘I’ll build a stairway to Paradise’ sung by Issy van Randwyck
[G is for favourite games:]
Backgammon
[H is for hometown:]
Sunderland
[I is for instruments you play:]
Piano (badly), recorder and used to play the clarinet
[J is for jam or jelly you like:]
Blackcurrant
[K is for kids:]
No way ! ! !
[L is for last kiss:]
1 minute ago
[M is for most admired trait:]
Loves animals
[N is for name of your crush:]
The football player Bryan Robson when I was at school
[O is for overnight hospital stays:]
Lots
[P is for phobias:]
Thunder and lightning, loud noises and creepy crawlies
[Q is for quotes you like:]
‘We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy but because they are hard’ President John F Kennedy
[R is for biggest regret:]
Giving up teacher training to join the civil service
[S is for sweets of your choice:]
Chocolate and fizzy cola bottles
[T is for time you wake up:]
Several times during the night
[U is for underwear:]
Non-wired bras and anything from M&S
[V is for vegetables you love:]
What’s them…
[W is for worst habit:]
Having to the loo three times before going to sleep
[X is for x-rays you’ve had:]
Loads
[Y is for yummy food you make:]
Fruit cake
[Z is for zodiac sign:]
Virgo

Marie

Friday part 1 (again)

It may not be word for word perfect but here goes…

On Friday I took my mam shopping at Sainsburys. Food shopping with my mam is always an experience but as she had a cold it was like shopping with someone on speed ! ! !

The fruit and veg section. “Do you know were er is”.
I should explain. My mam thinks that everyone is telepathic so doesn’t need to say anything else other than ‘er’.

After a process of elimination I finally guessed what she wanted only to have to repeat the process over and over again.

Still in fruit and veg. “Do you want some tomatoes”.
“Mam, I don’t like tomatoes and you know I don’t, yet you ask me this every time”. “Well I only asked in case you changed your mind”.

The uncooked meat aisle. She spends quite a while looking at the variety of sausages then says “I don’t like sausages”.

The ready made meals aisle. “What can ‘you’ have for a change”, she asks.
“Mam I don’t have RMM”.
It transpires that ‘you’ means ‘I’ (I’ll have to remember that one…). She spends ages looking at the different meals then said she doesn’t like RRM either.

The dairy aisle and she’s standing facing the yoghurts. “Can you see any er”.
“A clue would be helpful”.
“Yoghurts”.
I resist the temptation to be sarcastic so ask “what kind”.
“Sainsburys own”.
“Narrowing it down, any particular one”.
“The Winter Collection”.

After spending ages searching I couldn’t find them.
“Found them”, she says picking up Autumn Fruits…

This is the edited version. Imagine the whole thing ! ! !

Marie