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Yes, we’re back from the HBA Autumn Conference in Norwich. As we suspect that Phil, the organiser is a reader, I had better say here and now that everything went very well. I thought that the company at dinner on Saturday night was particularly good.

The only moans I heard were about how hard it is to get to Norwich, and how hard it is to get home again. We consider ourselves lucky that although it took six and a half hours to travel each way, all the time was spent on decent roads at decent speeds, not stuck in traffic.

Now it’s all go for the spring conference in Northampton. I’m organiser this time so it had better be good.

Sadly for 2008, Bognor is Buggered. There are a number of niggles which when added up just mean it won’t work. Cash only at the bars, Friday dinner at 5pm (they’re used to kiddies) and 10 am check out on Sunday being just a few. So we’re off to take a look at the Queens in Leeds. We were there in 2004 and since then they’ve spent £10 million on the place. Provided one or two faults have been rectified we’re fairly confident. 2009 is likely to be back at the Hilton in Blackpool, and after gauging peoples reactions at the weekend we feel even more inclined to try for Prague in 2010.

On the home front we went to B & Q this afternoon. You know why don’t you.

Actually we were very good. We didn’t shout or make unreasonable demands.

They’re sending someone out to take a look and see whether it’s a manufacturing fault.

However, we have no faith whatsoever in that particular model of door (modern maple if you must know) and are likely to hold out for something else. Since the entire kitchen has been decorated to fit in, if they can’t get us something very close, they may need to redecorate the kitchen for us …

John

I don’t believe it

Tonight while I was stirring the bolognaise sauce (should have been tacos shells but couldn’t be bothered to do them as they take too long…) something on one of the kitchen door caught my eye.

Yes you guessed it, one of the doors which was only replaced a couple of weeks ago has started to blister. If that wasn’t enough I ran my hand over the rest of them and found one of the replacement drawer fronts is blistered as well.

To say I’m not amused is an understatement. There’s nothing we can do about it now as we’re off early tomorrow morning for Norwich.

However come Tuesday afternoon I’ll be having a nice, quiet chat with the Manager of B&Q.

Be afraid, be very afraid ! ! ! !

Marie

It’s official…

I frighten children ! ! !

I was at my mams today and whilst we were sitting at the kitchen table having a cup of coffee, I noticed three young girls (they couldn’t have been more than nine years old) standing next to the garden wall.

One of them kept looking up at the kitchen window then put her arm out. She did this for about five minutes when I twigged what she was doing.

My mam has a couple of berry bushes at the end of the garden and she was pulling off the berries.

There’s vertical blinds at the window so it’s easy to see out but quite difficult to see in. The little girl looked up again at the window and was about to pull off more berries when I mouthed ‘don’t even think about it’.

She quickly stopped what she was doing and walked sheepishly away.

The child catcher out of Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang eat your heart out ! ! !

Marie

PS sorry for the lack of blogs only we’ve been rather busy with Norwich. Normal service will resume shortly.

Bugger Bognor *

On Saturday we went to Butlins in Bognor Regis. Really, we did.

OK, we actually went to the CONFERENCE CENTRE at Butlins in Bognor Regis to see if we could swing a deal to hold a conference there.

It was an over 18’s Ibiza theme weekend. Loads of strange people popping various pills. I don’t really think we blended in. Probably people thought someone had brought their parents.

Actually the place is pretty good. It’s right on the sea front (they gave us a room with a sea view) and it’s easy to find. It’s even got it’s own brown tourist road signs. We would get the use of all the resort facilities, and for those of you who attend HBA conferences and fainted at Hilton bar prices, £9.95 for a bottle of wine.

I just wish it was a bit nearer. The round trip was just over 720 miles. Imagine travelling from our house to visit Jenny and Chris, then as much again. Our meeting was at three on Saturday so it was an early start, and a long haul back on Sunday.

Basically we’re knackered.

John

* Reputed to be the last words of King George V

Don’t mentioned the kitchen doors

Just looked at the date when we last blogged. I’m going to blame John for the lack of blogs as he was supposed to do one. Sorry dear….

So the saga of the kitchen doors continues. On Saturday John removed the damaged doors then we took them back to B&Q.

They’re not the most helpful of staff on the returns desk. The little man said he couldn’t help us so we’d have to find any member of staff on the shop floor and ask them to retrieve our doors from the warehouse.

They must have know we were coming as every time we saw someone they ‘vanished’. However we did manage to find one who wasn’t quick enough to disappear. We explained what she had to do and waited and waited and waited.

She couldn’t find them. We all went back to the desk where the little man said they were in the warehouse as he’s put them there last Sunday. Off she goes again.

She still can’t find them. The little man, her and another member of staff then have a debate about where they could be. She then goes off with the other member of staff to have another look.

Finally after waiting for nearly thirty minutes they find them.

The saga isn’t finished yet. While John was fitting them he noticed that they’ve given us two of the wrong doors….

So Sunday afternoon we were back at B&Q. Thankfully they had two of our kind in stock as I really would have pitied the person at the returns desk when the customer from Hell made an appearance. It wouldn’t have been pretty ! ! !

We’ve been plagued with problems since day one. Not all the doors were in stock so they had to be ordered and delivered to us along with the worktops. The earliest they could deliver was eight weeks. Delivery date arrived and no doors. It turns out they had forgotten to order them and it would take another three weeks to get them to us. We said stuff that and picked them up ourselves two days later.

I’m beginning to think changing the kitchen doors wasn’t such a good idea ! ! !

Marie

Blistering heck

Late Friday night we noticed that one of our new kitchen doors looked a little odd . On closer inspection it turned out that it had started to blister at the bottom.

On Saturday we checked the rest of them and found that eight out of the ten doors and all five drawers were also starting to blister at the bottom.

I rang B&Q and was told to bring in a couple for them to have a look at.

So Sunday afternoon John removed two doors and a drawer and we headed to B&Q.

I decided to let John be the customer from hell for a change.

Having explained the problem the customer service person couldn’t help so called for a supervisor.

“Have they been in a room where there’s moisture ”.
“They’re kitchen doors ! ! !”.
“Oh I see. Could it have been caused by the steam from a kettle”.

I was itching to give a good customer from Hell reply but it was John turn so I had to remain quiet.

“It can’t be the steam as the door next to the kettle hasn’t blistered. Also how can you explain the drawers blistering”.

The supervisor thought for a while, “You’ll have to bring them all in before we can replace them”.

Red rag to a bull. Customer from Hell appears.

“What happens if we remove all the doors and drawers only to find that you don’t have any replacements in stock. I’m sorry but I’m not doing without any doors or drawers”.

“Why don’t you go and check to see if we have any. I’ll do a swap with the three you’ve brought in, then you can buy the remainder and bring the rest in at your leisure for a refund”.

John’s turn to be customer from Hell.

“No way… Why should we have to go and look for them. It’s your problem, you look for them”.

Thankfully they did have them in stock so they have put them to one side for us.

Guess what we’ll be doing on Saturday…

What joy ! ! !

Marie

Miles and miles of deserted beaches ...

Today dawned bright and sunny so Marie and I went for a little walk along the sea front and even to the end of the pier. This may sound like nothing out of the ordinary, except that it’s a place we’ve never been before. Mainly because in our younger days the pier was locked and closed because the council wouldn’t cough up the money to repair damage done by the Luftwaffe. All through my youth it was strictly out of bounds, something to do with the lack of railings and the 50 foot waves that crash over it in the winter (come to think of it, railings aren’t going to help much anyway).



The other surprise of the day was just how quiet it was. Miles of beautiful unspoiled sandy beaches, on a warm sunny day, one without any mist for a change, and hardly a soul about. Their loss.

John

No blogs

Because there hasn’t been anything to report…

There’s been nothing for the customer from Hell to make an appearance.

No culinary disasters in the kitchen.

No Motherisms at Sainsburys yesterday.

And our new neighbours have been relatively quiet for once.

Lets hope next week is a little more exciting ! ! !

Marie

Cabin fever

On Saturday we had to go to London for September’s HBA chimp tea party – sorry I meant executive committee meeting. Thankfully it was our last one. Hurray ! ! ! !

We had to fly down as the trains have been a non-starter for a while. GNER’s usual January/February maintenance work is still ongoing….

Although it did mean being up at 4am and not arriving back home until 10.45pm, it’s a much better journey than the train.

Bearing in mind the current security joke at airports, I decided to leave behind my deodorant and lip balm and buy some at Boots in the departure lounge.

However I was not prepared to leave behind my cold sore cream. The BAA website stated that as long as lotions, gels or creams are prescription medicine and can be either tasted or verified as such from a pharmacist on site, then it would be allowed.

As my cream is a prescription medicine and clearly states POM and says to be administered as directed by a physician, then it’s the genuine article.

I declared it to a member of staff outside the entrance of security and having duly tasted it was let through. As if not being allowed any liquids etc and only the tiniest bag as hand luggage was bad enough, we had to remove our shoes. I’m so glad I didn’t wear the pair of shoes with the holes in….

Depending on how high they set the sensitivity of the metal detector, my hip sometimes sets it off. However this time it didn’t (it did coming back at Heathrow…).

Both our shoes, coats and John bag, containing our sandwiches which surprisingly were allowed through, bizarre ! ! , got the all clear. My bag didn’t.

The security staff at Newcastle airport aren’t the friendliest or nicest of people. Those who are nice are newcomers and haven’t got their degrees in nastiness yet.

I was told in no uncertain terms that I couldn’t take my cold sore cream on board so I pointed out that it was prescription medicine and had POM on it. It then become two against one (John either decided to let me fight it out myself or was clearly embarrassed – I’m not sure which ! ! !) as another member of staff, who if smiled would crack her over made up face, joined in the argument.

I was standing my ground so it was taken to Boots for further advice. They wouldn’t let me take it as it wasn’t prescription medicine. The minimum wage staff in Boots clearly didn’t understand what POM meant.

It now became a battle. I was not having it confiscated so again stood my ground. It then became three against one as they asked advice from a supervisor. I put my case forward and was allowed to keep it. Result ! ! ! Customer from Hell 1 – Airport Security Staff 0.

I reluctantly decided not to make it a score draw as I’d be too knackered to put up a fight so asked June if she would look after my deodorant, lip balm and cold sore cream until Norwich conference and phone the doctors tomorrow for a repeat prescription. Lucky I still have a couple of weeks left on my pre-prescription payment so it won’t cost me anything.

I read today that Chelsea Clinton also had a bit of trouble at security at Heathrow airport. She refused to hand over her Chanel makeup using the ‘do you know who I am’ phrase. She was allowed to keep them, then personally escorted to the VIP lounge.

Sadly we had to make do with mixing with the plebs in the departure lounge …

Marie

It’s soup Jim but not as we know it

Seeing as we’ve started our diet (yet again…) I decided to make some ‘no points’ soup.

I got the necessary vegetables last week in Morrisons and as they didn’t have any green cabbage I bought red cabbage instead. Bad move ! ! !

The soup looked fine in the pan until I came to ladle it into the bowl. The red cabbage had turned the onion, leek and spring onions a lovely shade of blue and the liquid resembled purple ink.

It tasted ok but the colour really put me off so sadly it went down the sink, having been strained though a colander first – which has now been stained purple….

I dread to think what it would have done to my teeth ! ! ! !

Marie

We're still here

Saturday was Marie's birthday so we went out for lunch to the world's best Chinese restaurant which, as some of you know, in on the sea front.

We were scheduled to have some pretty extreme tides, the highest for 20 years. Now, as you may expect, on either side of an exceptionally high tide you will get an exceptionally low tide. I can honestly say that the last time I saw the tide so far out I was still at school (and you all know how long ago that was).

Add to the mix a very strong on-shore wind and we had a recipe for disaster.

However, I'm please to say that high tide was about half an hour after mid-night, and we lived to tell the tale.

John

Finished

I’m ecstatic to report that we’ve finally finished painting and decorating the hall and landing. It’s been a long hard (and at times painful) slog but it’s done.

I’m also pleased to report that Vardy’s, came and collect my car yesterday. They couldn’t find any thing wrong with the brakes but at least they’ve been looked at. Woe betide if I get stopped by the police ! ! !

I mentioned on Wednesday that we were going to visit a chocolate factory in Leyburn on Thursday. It was a tiny place, so Cadburys certainly don’t have anything to fear, but it was well worth a visit. Seeing as it was free to look around we felt it only right to sample their products…

Right next door to the chocolate factory was another little gem of a place, the teapot shop. It’s a factory workshop making novelty teapots. I’ve been there twice before and have never left empty handed. This time the birthday bunny bought me a AGA teapot.

We also stumbled on a wonderful little fabric shop. Again I couldn’t leave empty handed. We then drive to Ripon (to find a cash machine as the fabric shop didn’t take credit cards) and had a lovely walk along the canal.

Today I came one step closer to the big 40 (only 731 days to go…..). I got lots of lovely presents from the birthday bunny – even if my mam thought I was very sad for getting series one of both Quantum Leap and The Muppet Show on DVD.

Off to have a huge piece of chocolate birthday cake (full of zillions of calories..), washed down with a bottle of fizzy whilst watching the Last Night of the Proms. Makes you proud to be British ! ! !

Marie

The customer from Hell strikes again

At precisely 8.30am this morning I rang Vardy’s about my brake lights. Jenny’s email must have worked as both service receptionists were ‘busy with other customers’… I was told someone would ring me back – eventually. “No”, I replied, “this is a matter of urgency so they will call me back within five minutes”.

Five minutes later (most impressed….) ‘Donna’ from service department rang and asked what the problem was so I explained.
“Can you drop it off sometime today”.
“Er no. It doesn’t have any brake lights.

Donna starts to get stoppy. “Well how do you expect us to fix your car if you won’t bring it in”.

“Excuse me, but it’s illegal to use a vehicle without any brake lights. What happen if someone runs into the back of me or I get stopped by the police. I’m not getting three points and a fine because of something that isn’t my fault”.

“Well, our technicians don’t do house call so you’ll have to bring it in’
“Sorry but this car isn’t moving. You’ll have to bring a trailer to collect it”.
“We don’t have one..”.

She then realises that she isn’t going to win this round so puts me on to her manager.
They will be collecting the car on Friday morning.

In other news. Had a lovely day at Eden Camp. For those of your who don’t know, it’s an old POW camp in Yorkshire which has been turned into a WWII museum. We didn’t however recon that it would be besieged by OAP’s who decided to take a trip down memory lane. I’ve never seen so many walking sticks, wheelchairs and motorised scooters in my life…. It was like going shopping on a Thursday afternoon in Morrisons ! ! !

Change of plan for tomorrow. Instead of going to Alnwick Castle, we’re now heading back into Yorkshire to a place called Leyburn. Rumour has it that there is a chocolate factory there ! ! !

Marie

We’re back

I’m pleased to report that we had a lovely holiday last week in Stratford upon Avon.

Had a pleasant drive down and considering it was bank holiday Monday, there wasn’t much traffic on the road which made a change.

Tuesday we went to Warwick Castle and we were most surprised to find that they had Trebuchet which they shot twice a day. Rather impressive sight.

Wednesday was spent wandering the town and shopping. Could have been seriously poor as we visited my two favourite shops – Lakeland Limited and Fred Winter which stocks some wonderful dressmaking fabric.

Thursday we visited Lapworth. Not only does it have one of the most loveliest places to have a picnic lunch but it’s also the village where I’ve based my novel.

On our way home on Friday we did a detour to Northampton to have a meeting with the hotel.

Saturday, Sunday, Monday and today were spent – yes you’ve guessed it - painting…. However the end is nigh as there’s only the top wardrobe doors to fit and a quick touch up on the walls.

That’ll have to wait until Friday as tomorrow and Thursday we’re off to Eden Camp and Alnwick Castle with my mam. Never been to both places so it should be interesting.

And finally my car went in for it’s yearly service today. Everything was fine until I arrived home.
“I think you’ll be seeing a bit more of Vardy’s”, said John who had followed me home.
“Why”.
“You drove home with no brake lights working…”

They will be getting the call from you know who tomorrow ! ! !

Marie

Stratford here we come

Sadly there may not be any bloggs for a few days as we’re off to Stratford tomorrow morning. The local library does allow non-residents the use of the internet but only 15 minutes per day. Will do our best though.

In other news, the painting is coming along nicely. Most of the glossing is done and what’s left won’t take more than half an hour to finish off.

Tested the new colour on the walls and it looks good. It covered the yellow really well that we may get away with only one coat. Here’s hoping ! ! !

So that’s about it for now. Off to start packing…

Marie

Where has the time gone

Just realised that it’s nearly a week since last blogged. So what’s to report.

Got my Uncle Frank’s cake safely delivered to my mam’s. It’s his birthday party today so hopefully everyone liked my icing efforts….

Did yet more painting – surprise, surprise. I’ve looked at the calendar and I’ve spent all of August painting. Thankfully the gloss painting is nearly finished. Yipee ! ! ! Then it’s the turn of the walls. Boo ! ! !

Had a great time at Jenny’s party at the weekend. Good food, good company – what more can you want…

Checked my nectar points and we have enough for two five pounds off meal vouchers at any Brewers Fare pub. These will come in very handy at the Red Lion in Stratford.

Only six days and counting ! ! !

Marie

De-icer

It’s my uncle Frank’s 80th birthday next Tuesday and my mam ‘volunteered’ me to make the cake for his party.

“Nothing fancy”, she said, “a large fruit cake and they wanted it decorated as well”.

My decorating skills are appalling. I have trouble rolling out marzipan so John always gets that task. Making royal icing is very much a ‘hit or miss’ affair. Sometimes it’s filling removal hard or so soft it spreads like butter.

I did suggest they might like a plain cake but no, it had to be decorated. I did get my own way with the icing. Instead of badly done royal icing snow peaks they have settled for sugar paste.

The marzipaning, although having been patched in several places, went ok. Sadly the same can’t be said for the sugar paste.

I’ve never used the stuff before so had no idea what size cake the packet will cover. I assumed, like marzipan, it would cover an eight inch cake.

Er no… At 7.30pm this evening we were hot footing it to Morrisons before they closed at 8pm to buy another packet as the cake has to be delivered tomorrow morning.

So after re-rolling it, I managed, well sort of anyway, to get the cake covered. As long as you look at it from above it looks ok….

Cake decorating is one hobby I will not be taking up ! ! !

Marie

Day at work = day off

John had to go into work today so I had a day off from painting. Yipeee ! ! ! !

The great hall painting project is going to plan. All the skirting boards, doors, door frames and staircase are painted.

I’m not going to tell you what colour it is, but when we have our party in November please remember – it’s not white. We don’t ‘do’ white….

Sorry for not blogging for a while but day time is spent painting and evenings are spent in the bath ! ! !

Tomorrow John’s up the ladder to attack the coving. It’s red at the moment so it’ll take a few coats to lighten it up a bit. I’ll be varnishing the handrail and other jobs a bit closer to the ground. I don’t ‘do’ ladders…

Marie

The kitchen and other projects

I’m pleased to report that the kitchen is practically finished. All there is to do is clean and re-grout the tiles and paint a couple of end wall cabinet pieces.

The long overdue tidy up of the garage began on Sunday.

Another project for later this year is my workroom. It’s bursting at the seams due to my ever growing craft work and also hospital radio stuff. So we’ve decided to put in more shelving and another work unit.

Regular visitors to our blog will note that we hate painting. I can’t for the life of me understand why anyone would want to be a painter and decorator…

However, like ironing (which I also hate…), it must be done so that’s what I’ve been doing today. It was the turn of the spindles and the handrail to be undercoated and like last Monday I ache all over. I put some Deep Heat rub on my back this afternoon. It eased it a little but made the house stink.

The first thing John noticed when he came home from work wasn’t the smell of the paint but the pong of the Deep Heat ! ! !

Marie

Aches and pains

It’s my own fault. I push myself too far so I’ve got aching muscles and my pains are bad from having spent Monday and today painting.

I had yesterday off as I had a dentist and hospital appointments. Never got to the dentist though as my electric garage door is playing up so wouldn’t open. It does have a manual override but I’m not tall enough to put the string…

I rang the dentist to say I couldn’t make it but was too embarrassed to say I couldn’t get my garage door open so said I had a flat battery.

Thankfully the garage door did decide to open a couple of hours later so I was able to attend my hospital appointment. Lesley, my specialist nurse, noticed that my knee was swollen (from painting) so I got wrong for doing too much… Will I take any notice – no ! ! !

Got a day off from painting tomorrow as I’m going to be busy finishing off making two blouses for my mam.

However it’ll be back to work decorating this weekend. Oh goodie…

Marie

PS John says that last month we had 235 hits on our blog. However he thinks most of them were him trying to get our holiday gallery working…